Thank you Ottawa U

So tonight is the night that I thought would never come, but to be honest it's more bitter than sweet because tomorrow is my last day on a campus that has changed my life forever. When I came to the University of Ottawa I did not even know that I would have to take that yellow bus to the RGN campus for every class. How many university students have spent the majority of their class time in 2 classrooms. Nearly all of my career as a nursing student took place in those orange chairs and I hope I never forget it. How many early mornings, how many exams, how many times did we all filter in and take our seats with the friends that we'd made; friends that I'm not ready to say good bye to. Four years went by so fast, too fast. Today we did our Mock RN Exam and what a difference from first year, we answered every question from the vast knowledge base we've developed and we were confident in our abilities to explain the rationale behind each answer.

Last week when I was in my last seminar class with 12 of my classmates we each shared our experiences from consolidation. Listening to each of them speak I was in awe, they are all such strong professionals and I'm so lucky to be their classmate. I wish I could keep them all in my pocket to inspire my to be just as passionate for the rest of my career as we are now. So I'm going to to aspire to do just that, to remember the faces of my classmates and the passion that they have for the profession of nursing.

As I was riding the bus home tonight from my best friend and classmate's house, which I've done almost everyday for the past four years I realized that this city has had a huge impact on who I am as well. I mean, it's impossible to walk through downtown Ottawa without reflecting on the impact of nursing in society. I remember times when I've been on the bus, people watching and then had a breakthrough because I saw what we were talking about in class in the people around me. Something as simple as seeing the challenges facing those people with disabilities and how our society is not built to help them out. Being in this city, this multi-cultural, vibrant diverse city has made me a well-rounded person and made me fall in love with nursing. Seeing how people live in Ottawa has made it clear to me that nurses play a vital role in helping society improve.

I have to admit that I'm scared that I may lose some of the knowledge I have developed if I move to an area that is less diverse, so again, my goal is to stay in touch with this person I am right now. I obviously have a lot to learn about being a nurse, but the passion I have right has been inspired by the people I've gone to school with and this city that I live in . So I am very sad that tomorrow may be the last time I am in this same place in life. But there's a new chapter ahead of me and I could not be coming from a better place, physically, emotionally or psychologically. I feel that I'm ready to start my career and walk through those doors that have been opened for me by the profession of nursing.

Wide Awake!

So it's been some time since I posted anything, and I am disappointed for that but I have come to the conclusion that I have been processing a lot of personal growth and development over the last two months and it's now just starting to come in to focus. I knew that consolidation would teach me all kinds of things, like clinical nursing skills (IVs, catheters, venipuncture) and on the surface of my experience I have fulfilled those expectations. When I look deeper though, I have lived and learned things that will stay with me and make me a more effective nurse.

This is my last week of consolidation and I am exhausted right now, I should probably be sleeping, but I was on my feet all day, so they stink and I need to shower, so I'm still awake. Also, I just got home from attending a special event by the RNAO where I got to hear Tilda Shalof speak. That is something I've been waiting for for three years, since I read The Making of A Nurse (a gift from a rowing friend and mentor Louise MacDonald). I feel like I know her, and that stems from sharing experiences with what she writes about and from feeling that her spirit is powerful and comes through in all it's beauty. Nursing has meant a lot to me since I enrolled four years ago and when I read that firt Tilda Shalof book I knew that I would read and re-read all of her books because something about it resonates so strongly with me.

Something she said tonight really stuck with me too and I wanted to share the thoughts that I was having about it. She said that what enabled her to write her books so honestly was that she has stayed awake through her whole nursing career. I loved that, the first thing I thought of was those nurses you see that cannot put a smile on their face, even for a patient, they are not awake, because they are not in an area where they are being nurtured. When you're awake, you know what makes you happy, you know your values and you stand up for them. You can't stay in an area where you don't feel like you are reaching your potential and I think it's probably easy to turn yourself off and do the job because it's a job. But I don't want to do that, I do feel that the most important part of starting my career right now is finding an area that allows me to develop my skills within a culture that is respectful, trusting and supportive.

I have been so lucky in my consolidation to work in an area exactly like this, so it's hard for me to imagine that I will be moving on and starting my career somewhere else in just a few weeks. The nurses that I have been learning from for the past 2 months are amazingly passionate about their work, they are very strong in their values and the incredible knowledge base they have makes me admire them. After listening to Tilda tonight and coming to an end of my consolidation I am set to start a career in nursing. I promise myself that I will be awake for my career, every step of the way because I know it will be amazing and I don't want to miss a thing.

Thank you to my preceptor and the nurses who have mentored me you are all shining examples of how I want to pursue my career!