Wide Awake!

So it's been some time since I posted anything, and I am disappointed for that but I have come to the conclusion that I have been processing a lot of personal growth and development over the last two months and it's now just starting to come in to focus. I knew that consolidation would teach me all kinds of things, like clinical nursing skills (IVs, catheters, venipuncture) and on the surface of my experience I have fulfilled those expectations. When I look deeper though, I have lived and learned things that will stay with me and make me a more effective nurse.

This is my last week of consolidation and I am exhausted right now, I should probably be sleeping, but I was on my feet all day, so they stink and I need to shower, so I'm still awake. Also, I just got home from attending a special event by the RNAO where I got to hear Tilda Shalof speak. That is something I've been waiting for for three years, since I read The Making of A Nurse (a gift from a rowing friend and mentor Louise MacDonald). I feel like I know her, and that stems from sharing experiences with what she writes about and from feeling that her spirit is powerful and comes through in all it's beauty. Nursing has meant a lot to me since I enrolled four years ago and when I read that firt Tilda Shalof book I knew that I would read and re-read all of her books because something about it resonates so strongly with me.

Something she said tonight really stuck with me too and I wanted to share the thoughts that I was having about it. She said that what enabled her to write her books so honestly was that she has stayed awake through her whole nursing career. I loved that, the first thing I thought of was those nurses you see that cannot put a smile on their face, even for a patient, they are not awake, because they are not in an area where they are being nurtured. When you're awake, you know what makes you happy, you know your values and you stand up for them. You can't stay in an area where you don't feel like you are reaching your potential and I think it's probably easy to turn yourself off and do the job because it's a job. But I don't want to do that, I do feel that the most important part of starting my career right now is finding an area that allows me to develop my skills within a culture that is respectful, trusting and supportive.

I have been so lucky in my consolidation to work in an area exactly like this, so it's hard for me to imagine that I will be moving on and starting my career somewhere else in just a few weeks. The nurses that I have been learning from for the past 2 months are amazingly passionate about their work, they are very strong in their values and the incredible knowledge base they have makes me admire them. After listening to Tilda tonight and coming to an end of my consolidation I am set to start a career in nursing. I promise myself that I will be awake for my career, every step of the way because I know it will be amazing and I don't want to miss a thing.

Thank you to my preceptor and the nurses who have mentored me you are all shining examples of how I want to pursue my career!